Women are often seen as the gatekeepers, frequently saying no, which leads to the idea that men shouldn’t pass up any chances: In addition to the expectation that men always want sex, there is a simultaneous pressure that men should take advantage of every sexual opportunity because they may be limited. Men feel pressure to take advantage of every sexual opportunity Respondent 4: Because I’m supposed to want it all the time. Especially as the guy if I ever try to say I’m not in the mood…if I push it’s weird but if she wants to do it, it’s really weird if I say no I don’t. Respondent 4: Yeah and you’re just like okay I guess it would be weird if I said no. Interviewer: But then your girlfriend or partner is like, no I wanna hook up. If it’s a woman, she can stop it at any time, for a guy once you get to that making out phase or she’s touching you it’s like, okay, this has to happen. Respondent 3: Once you get into that whole-once you start making out then it kinda all goes downhill from there. Interviewer: There’s no obvious way for men to say no once it’s progressing? Respondent 3: Yeah like okay if the woman wants it, it seems like no reason why a guy doesn’t want it. Because of that it translates into sex will always be good for me because of the status boost. Respondent 2: Yeah sex will almost never be negative socially for men. Not that they are more inclined to say yes but to say no-if they have reservations they always have the fall back that it will be good for them as a social status. Respondent 2: For a guy it will always be seen as good for him.
People are still going to high five them when they have sex. Because men always “want it” so it doesn’t get looked at.
Respondent 1: It’s definitely there it’s a thing. Interviewer: Do you have friends who have had unwanted sex (men especially)? However, the quotes below illuminate three distinct social pressures men face that led them to engage in sex they didn’t want to have.Ī number of men were acutely aware of the expectation that men always want sex: Although some men interviewed reported physically coercive situations that led to unwanted sex, the respondents quoted in this blog post did not discuss any physical violence. The interviews were conducted in person and lasted between 45 minutes and 2 hours. The flyers specified that the study was aimed at 18-25 year olds who had experienced unwanted sex since college began. Participants were recruited by a screening survey in two undergraduate courses and by recruitment flyers around campus. Ford interviewed 39 men about their experiences of unwanted sex and this blog post displays quotes from these interviews. The study focused on men’s experiences of unwanted sex with women. The data come from a study done by Jessie Ford in 20 at an elite private university.
Third, men navigate situations purposefully avoiding the stigmatized labels “pussy,” “bitch,” “virgin,” or “gay.” Second, men are expected to take advantage of every sexual opportunity. First, there is the narrative that men always want to have sex. Three distinct themes were discovered in an analysis of qualitative interviews with male college students. In this post we explore what is expected of men, what is stigmatized, and how these social factors can result in a man deciding to have sex that he doesn’t actually desire. However, there are many pressures men face that lead them to have unwanted sex. We tend to see sexual assault perpetrators as male and victims as female-and usually that is true. Heterosexual men’s experiences of unwanted sex are often overlooked.